Costa Rican society is decidedly polite, especially compared to that of the U.S. It might be the biggest area of culture shock one will experience after being here for a long time and then returning to the U.S. At least that has been my experience.
Now there are exceptions to every rule…
Those exceptions generally apply on the streets, avenues and highways around the country (especially its cities). Just put the most polite tico behind the steering wheel of an automobile and it’s like pouring water on a “gremlin” (you remember those lovable little creatures from that early Spielberg flick?).
Yea, they become little demons hell-bent on destruction. But for the most part, outside of that environment, politeness rules.
I am still trying to adapt, because sometimes I just don’t feel like being polite. That’s usually when I’m just too wrapped up in what’s going on in my life at the moment (or in my head) to take the time to try to brighten someone’s day with a simple, disculpe, por favor, or gracias.
Here folks are routinely polite, even when they may not be having the best day. And it’s not as if they’re faking it. The politeness comes natural. In the culture of the U.S., you can readily tell when someone is faking it, can’t you? You know, the so-called “courtesy laugh” at that joke you blew, or the “courtesy smile” when lurking just behind it is seething cynicism.
Now I’m one of those types who tends to wear his emotions on his shirt sleeve. That doesn’t always go over so well in this culture. I’m learning to be polite, because I admit I’m not naturally so, as any of my tico friends would attest. I’m polite when and if I feel like it. The Spanish language of politeness does not roll off the tip of my tongue as easily as…
Gimme 20 of super…and check the oil while you’re at it!
Learning the Costa Rican language of politeness will get you further. It will open doors that sometimes appear to be shut to gringo expats who haven’t learned it yet. It will develop and strengthen relationships. It will make you feel better because you are making others feel better.
Because in reality life isn’t all about us, now is it?
That does not go over so well down here.
So take a tip from the Costa Rica Guy and make your first Spanish lesson be to learn the Costa Rican language of politeness.
And the “palabra mágica” is…
POR FAVOR!
If you’d like to delve a little deeper into my keys for successful Costa Rica expat living, I recently published an eBook on the topic entitled, Expat Mindfulness: How Expats can Change the World with Impact Mindfulness.