In my lifetime the world has become a more cynical place. There’s no doubt about that. And it seems the last few years have witnessed a dramatic increase in that trend.

I recently listened to an interview of the renowned MIT professor and thinker Noam Chomsky. He said that the increased threat of nuclear war, global climate catastrophe, and neoliberalism are combining to perform the perfect storm…the one that could do our species in once and for all. Hey, don’t laugh…it happened to the dinosaurs and they were around a lot longer than we’ve been! So, it’s no wonder people are becoming more pessimistic. And rampant pessimism usually leads to cynicism, as folks seek to blame everyone and thing, except themselves, for their problems.

Oh, in case you don’t know what “neoliberalism” is, don’t worry. You can read about that HERE, if you’re interested (and you should be).

I believe this burgeoning cynicism is one of the driving factors in the current expat wave. I’ve also called it the “Trump effect” for obvious reasons, but cynicism is perhaps at its heart.

However, the last thing I want you to do is bring that cynicism here with you. I’d much prefer you leave it stateside, before boarding your flight to paradise.

The danger is that once you get here, you allow it to creep back in. I know this from experience because it has happened to me. So, how do we go about combatting cynicism, Costa Rica expat style?

Well, you’re nearing the end of this little book and I hope it has give you some ideas that might serve to answer the above question. But, more to the point, let me share how I’ve done it…

By Learning Humility…

When I first came to Costa Rica I was anything but humble. I was a lawyer-MBA type who was flown down to orchestrate a large business deal. It was a heady experience and one that indeed did go directly to that part of my body. I had what you might call a Mark Sanford-esque experience (and anyone from my home state of South Carolina will know exactly what that means).

But all that came crashing to an end and when the dust finally settled (I did as well) I had acquired a new home. And I learned, gradually, to be humble. Living in a foreign country can do that to you, if you really immerse. Oh, there are plenty who come here and never do that. But that is not my nature. I did immerse and it changed me.

How? Well, I believe the natural grandeur of this place put me in my place. I was, and still am, humbled by both the beauty, power and fragility of nature. I was humbled into dismissing the notion that human progress can proceed in a way that puts us at odds with nature. Nature will either win that battle, or the “spoils” will leave a bitter taste in the mouth of the victor.

I was humbled by living shoulder to shoulder with people who were different. I gradually came to the realization that being from the world’s largest superpower doesn’t make me any more exceptional than they already were. Neither did my education, money, language, customs, intelligence, or anything else. That we are all just people striving for the same basic thing…to live a dignified life.

I gradually came to the realization that being from the world’s largest superpower doesn’t make me any more exceptional than they already were.

By Learning to Show Respect…

I came here thinking very firmly that I had all the right answers. That the indoctrination of my upbringing, education, church and nationality made me a much brighter person than I really was. I often notice that attitude with gringos who come here either to visit or live. If it is to live, you either learn to respect, or you are in for a very unhealthy experience. Those are the ones who grow bitter and continuously grumble about how the ticos have it all wrong. Well, they may have it all wrong, but they’re smiling (actually laughing at you) while you sit miserable.

You see, it pays to learn to respect other viewpoints. It enhances your human experience to learn to stand in the other fellow’s shoes, especially if those shoes are far different from ones you have ever tried on. It is one of the greatest lessons of life I have learned here. It has served to remove those impact blinders that I came here wearing. I began to see the world from a different and far more open-minded perspective.

It enhances your human experience to learn to stand in the other fellow’s shoes, especially if those shoes are far different from ones you have ever tried on.

By Learning to Be Patient…

For many years this came as a hard lesson for me. I did not understand the concept of time that existed here. It seemed as if time didn’t matter, or at least that these people certainly didn’t respect my incessant worry over its scarcity. They seemed to take the view that there really was enough time to go around and meet everyone’s needs. Maybe that’s because there is a far different definition of “needs meeting” here than exists up there. People here just get along with a lot less and are content with that. The idea of arranging your life to achieve maximum efficiency with the goal of having more just doesn’t occur to most people here. The goal of life here is not to have more, but to live more. The two are not the same (I know that may come as a surprise to many).

So a much slower pace of life is what prevails. One that breathes deeper meaning into the concept of “relaxing and smelling roses.” And there are so many “roses” to smell here…maybe that’s the impetus. In the U.S. people strive to make a gazillion so they can have maybe 50% of the peaceful experience that a tico making less than half the poverty rate in the U.S. has simply by walking outside of his humble choza (home) and taking in the spectacular and completely free panoramic vista of his daily existence. So why should he be in a hurry?

So, first out of sheer necessity, and later out of a deeper understanding of true happiness, I slowed down. And I believe (hope) that it has added years to my life. It has certainly decreased the moments of panic and rage.

Now you might have your own methods, but the above ways for combatting cynicism, Costa Rica expat style, have worked fairly well for me. Turning off the news might be all you need. I obviously needed a bit more.

Cynicism is a disease that has already affected enough of us who hail from the so-called “developed-world.” So, don’t succumb to it, neither here, nor there, nor any goddamn where.

Pura Vida!

As a realtor and expat consultant in the southern zone, I often notice that expats come to Costa Rica in search of a less materialistic and more sustainable way of life. I commonly hear from those searching for that perfect place and/or property of their desire for a simpler life, to immerse with the culture, and live off the land.

And that’s all well and good. I’ve been an expat in Costa Rica for going on 16 years now. I also came in search of that simpler quality of life. However, at some point I began to ask the question why? Why did I want to be more sustainable? Was it simply a lifestyle choice, or were there deeper reasons? And the reason I began to think hard about is impact.

Now impact mindfulness is not reserved for expats alone. Anyone, anywhere, can be more mindful of their impacts on people and planet. However, I believe the expat, a person who’s decided to take the bold risk of living in a foreign country, is in a unique position to make an impact, not only on the country they move to, but also on the one they left. An expat is a person on the outside looking in and can gain deep perspectives about how the world works that those confined to the borders of their birth just aren’t exposed to.

Long ago I began to write about impact mindfulness in a blog entitled Revolutionary Misfit. I developed a three-prong framework for the concept. One that places impact over self-interest, embraces the concept of the Big Us, and seeks to remove and eliminate impact blinders. If you’d like to learn more about that, you can check out my blog, or eBooks I’ve written on the subject. Lately, as a realtor and expat consultant, I’ve been trying to expand the concept into the realm of Costa Rica expat living via a related concept I call “expat mindfulness.”

In light of all that, I thought I’d write this article with a few basic ideas for making an impact as a Costa Rica expat.

Idea #1…

I notice that many expats, even though they want to live sustainably, tend to import into Costa Rica non-sustainable notions about what that means. For instance, they tend to buy or bring in imported goods rather than support the local economy by buying and consuming what is actually produced in Costa Rica. Not only is buying local a great way to achieve a sustainable impact, but it can also help bring down the budget quite a bit.

Costa Rica is fast becoming a country that pays a 3rd-world level of living wage to its citizens, who then have to pay 1st world prices in order to actually live. That’s just not sustainable for them. We expats are perhaps unwittingly contributing to this problem. Buying locally grown, non-industrial-processed goods, like those found in local farmers’ markets, or produced by local artisans, can help to combat this trend.

Idea #2…

I believe one of the greatest ways expats can have an impact is by sharing their experiences with those in their home, or birth, country. I say “home” or “birth” because after living in Costa Rica as long as I have, you began to think of it as your home country.

Those back “home” will certainly be interested in your new life. Many will probably think negative thoughts about the decision, at least initially. Some may even claim that you’ve gone completely nuts to move from a developed country like the U.S. to one that is, well, just developing. Of course, you and I know how wrong they are. But unless we let them know why they are wrong, they’ll just go on thinking that the key to happiness is 1st-world level consumption. They’ll never bother to think that if everyone in the world consumed at that level, we’d need three to four more planets just to sustain ourselves!

We as expats have learned that the key to happiness is not in rampant consumption. Our tico friends in Costa Rica have shown us that. Through their humble ways they’ve demonstrated to us the error of our over-consumptive mentality. Costs Rica consumes far less than the U.S., but nevertheless its citizens consistently live longer and rate as being far happier.

Therefore, when your new life sparks an interest, be sure to inform of these startling revelations stemming from your Costa Rica expat living experience. Invite them to come see for themselves. But when they do, don’t shelter them from the truth, but rather expose them, gently, to it!

Idea #3…

There are so many ways to get involved in helping people and planet in Costa Rica. I wrote a while back about how happiness promoters tend to be happier than happiness pursuers. I’ve noticed that those expats who come to Costa Rica and quickly get involved in ways to give back, either by donating time, skill, or resources to their community, or by doing something positive for the environment, tend to be happier and stick around a lot longer. Those who congregate in the “gringo bars” and gripe about elements of the local culture that just don’t measure up to their standards, are often sent packing back home with their proverbial tails tucked between their legs.

The above are just a few basic ideas for making an impact as a Costa Rica expat. Use your imagination and I am sure you can come up with others that could be more in-line with your particular interests.

I was having a few beers in a local bar recently…not a “gringo bar”, mind you, but a real hard-core “chichero”, or local watering hole frequented mostly by…locals.

But there was this one guy. He was a Canadian. There was a soccer (er, fútbol) match on the television. He started complaining about how the style of fútbol that the ticos love to watch and play just didn’t measure up to American-style football, or Canadian-style hockey. That these soccer players were all a bunch of inept, uncoordinated, well, pussies.

Next it was the bugs in his mountain apartment. I can’t imagine how he could last a day in a beach apartment. Then it was the waiting lines at banks. Then it was the phenomenon of “gringo prices”, which I believe is an Alex Jones-inspired conspiracy theory. Oh, that reminds me. I’ve got another North American friend who stubbornly proclaims that they invariably change the music in bars and taxi cabs to English pop whenever he enters. As if the Costa Ricans always adjust their culture to cater to what they perceive to be his whims.

Anyway, after listening to about 30 minutes of this guy complaining about literally everything, I asked him, “well, aren’t you about ready to go home?” He replied hell yes and that he was leaving the next day. I finished my chicken wings and beer, paid my tab, and and said goodbye (while I thought to myself, “good riddance”).

I’ve written in these pages that even I have negative thoughts about certain aspects of the Cost Rica expat life. Of course, I have a whole lot more of them about life in my country of birth. The truth is, no matter where you hang your hat, you can find something to complain about. Isn’t it true?

I cannot imagine how anyone could fail to find anything positive about the expat life in Costa Rica. I mean even that guy was able to come up with one or two positive characteristics. So, why not focus on those?

I hope that within the pages of this book I’ve been able to share some insights into getting the most out of your Costa Rica expat living experience. How to be mindful of ways you can make the world a better place in doing so. And while doing that, have a whole lot of fun yourself. If you can’t find ways to have fun in Costa Rica, well, then I’m afraid you’re destined for misery anywhere else.

Here you’re surrounded by natural beauty. If you’re a single guy, by natural beauties as well. If you’re an outdoorsy type, there’s no end to the activities of which you can partake regularly…surfing, hiking, boating, fishing, rafting, kayaking, stand-up paddle boarding, scuba diving, snorkeling, horseback riding, etc., etc. If you like taking pictures, well there’s plenty of material all around you. If you like to grow stuff, well, spit a seed on the ground and it will. There’s just no end to it.

And you can do it all in near perfect weather. Sure it rains a bit. Yes it can be hot in places. Being one of the most biodiverse locations on earth does imply bugs and lots of them. Nobody said it was perfect!

Perhaps the best way to negate Costa Rica expat negativity is by allowing the expat experience to put you in your place. Living in a foreign land can do that. Having to make the adjustments, mentally and physically, to the expat life can do that. You will learn, quite quickly hopefully, that the world down here doesn’t revolve around you. You will learn that neither nature, nor the ticos, really care how much education you have, how successful you were, or how much money you have. If you have a lot of money and tend to throw it around, trying to win friends and influence people in the process, oh sure you’ll attract some attention. But usually not the kind that you were bargaining for.

So, don’t complain about them. Relish them and the change they have the potential of bringing about in you.

Where exactly is happiness located?

Our Declaration of Independence speaks of the “pursuit” of happiness, which is an expression that lends credence to its elusiveness. Happiness must be pursued because it is indeed an elusive and ephemeral emotional state.

A deeply religious person will tell you that happiness is found in God, in your faith and in conforming all your actions to be consistent with what you believe from a religious standpoint. That we stumble onto happiness on the road of religious obedience.

Our secular and highly commercialized society conveys the idea that happiness is found in things, that it resides “out there” in the world and it is your responsibility to go out and accumulate as much of it as you can.

Much of the literature that we read, great novels and poems that move us emotionally, express that happiness is found in romantic love.

But I can tell you from my own experience that true and lasting happiness isn’t really located in any of these places, as I have visited each and experienced just as much misery there as anywhere else.

Happiness is an emotion and in that sense it occupies the small amount of space located squarely between the ears. But if happiness is found in such an obvious and easily accessible location, why does it remain so elusive? Moreover, why are we told in our founding document that it is a thing to be “pursued” when all along we have the capacity to conjure it up simply by applying focused thought?

We talk about happiness being fleeting…that as soon as we have it, it tends to dissipate, dissolve or just disappear.

Why is that?

I submit to you it’s because our general ideas about happiness are all wrong.

If you think about it, the happiest among us are those who tend to be more concerned about the happiness of others than of their own, wouldn’t you agree?

The bottom line is that happiness promoters tend to be happier than happiness pursuers. And I have seen firsthand that this principle also applies to Costa Rica expat happiness promoters. Those who come and immediately get involved in things that promote the health and welfare of others, or of nature, or of the planet always seem to wear a smile on their faces that brightens the day of everyone they meet. Those are the expats you want to be around.

The reason is because the quality, or state, of happiness has a lot to do with our feelings about ourselves. If a person is focused solely on him or herself, it’s very easy to become discouraged and disillusioned. The more laser-like we direct our focus on ourselves, i.e., the more self-interested we are, the more apparent our imperfections, or those related to our circumstances, become.

We begin to realize that we aren’t the perfect specimens of humanity that we may have deluded ourselves into believing that we are. We realize the hard truth that we, or perhaps things, are sort of screwed up.

However, just as soon as we direct that focus to helping others find happiness, all those imperfections disappear, or at least cease to matter all that much. Instead we discover that despite them we do have the capacity to make a difference…to have a positive impact and influence on others.

This chapter offers the suggestion of being a Costa Rica expat happiness promoter by living each day with the goal of enhancing the experience of someone else.

In so doing, you just might find happiness, or a deeper sense of it, yourself.

This is an old blog post that I couldn’t resist but including in the book. It might give you a hint about what your Costa Rica expat life could look like…

I’ve not been “riled up” about anything lately, so my writing has slowed a bit. I used to watch Fox News (back when Costa Rica cable TV carried it) and that always provided fodder for my rants against the establishment quo (one of my favorite themes…railing against “the man”). But no more Fox these days. Actually I’ve been on a news watching hiatus, just enjoying my life here in PZ (Perez Zeledon) without really getting too riled up about anything, except Lily’s complaints about the heat.

That brings me to the subject of this morning’s post…you guessed it…raising chickens in Perez Zeledon.

You see, Lily really wanted a gallinero, or chicken house, in the back yard. And being the dutiful, and sustainably- minded, spouse that I am, I accommodated the request.

We gather four per day and with a household of four people, that equates, wait, let me do the math, to one per person per day. Of course, lately I’ve been on the “slow-carb” diet, so my breakfasts generally consist of three scrambled eggs. But, then again, I am “the man” of this house.

I’ve never had chickens before. Dogs yes, a cat once, and a few rodents here and there (I believe I once had a turtle), but never chickens.

They’re curious creatures.

After they pay the daily rent, we lock up “el asesino” (Dokie, our little “zaguate”…who’s a cross between a dachshund and a doberman…seriously), and let the chickens roam the backyard, giving full meaning to the term “yard-bird.”

We’ve only named too of them. Lily named one Dorothy (no idea why) and the other I named Dora (as in Dora la Exploradora) because, while the other three tend to stay together, Dora is always off somewhere pecking at everything, trying to figure out the general meaning of life as a gallus domesticus.

They really do seem to crave human interaction. Someone told me that chickens only have a memory of 15 minutes. I tend to disagree based on the fond looks I get every morning when I enter to feed them.

One thing’s for sure, having chickens has given me new-found respect (or repulsion) for eating them. It’s like those celebrities that claim they only eat the meat they kill themselves (didn’t Zuckerberg recently make that vow?).

Eating KFC will never be the same again. And raising chickens in Perez Zeledon means that I’ll never have to eat a store-bought egg again, if I can avoid it.

I’ll have to admit that sometimes life in Costa Rica gets under my gringo skin. You see, we gringos don’t live very contemplative lives for the most part. We don’t have time to, or at least we don’t take the time to.

There’s simply too much to do, too much money to make, too much pressure to bear, and too little time to stop and smell the roses.

That go go until your gone attitude is what built our country into the economic power it still is, right?

I think one of the greatest culture shocks for a gringo trying to adapt to Costa Rica life is that here things are just different. Here the saying goes that “hay mas tiempo que vida”…or, that there is more time than life.

Here things get done not “on time”, but when they, well, get done. It can be, to put it mildly, frustrating for the gringo with that go go attitude. The tico’s response to that frustration would be, well then, grin-go-home.

Gradually I’ve begun to adapt. To walk (and drive) slower, be friendlier, notice things, take my time, learn how to be patient, and to enjoy the present moment rather than always “time-traveling” into the future. Believe me, old gringo habits are hard to break, but I’m coming around more and more these days.

Getting the heck out of San Jose, like I did some 8 years ago, and moving to San Isidro de El General (or Perez Zeledon), in the southern zone, a place where the “pura-vida” culture is as alive and well as anywhere, has certainly helped.

Some time ago we fixed up an apartment we rented adjacent to our house to be used for my wife’s salon (or, “peluquería”, as they are generally called here). We hired my good tico friend, David Picado, to paint a mural on a wall where Lily intended to install a small garden.

Now David is the quintessential tico. He’s never in a hurry to do anything. Slow and deliberate is his manner. When will it get done? Well, when it’s done. And the end result is always very nice.

If you think about art in general, the artist performs his work slowly and deliberately, with great focus on the present moment. It’d be downright impossible to perform a great work of art, a masterpiece, by rushing to the end, wouldn’t it?

Of course, we all adore the accolades that reaching the end can bring. But those delightful end results might just never arrive if we focus too much on them, and ignore the process that gets us there.

In that sense, their way is a more artful way to live life.

I’ve gradually come around to accepting that fact. And to realize the importance of focusing more on the art of Costa Rica expat living.

Here’s a little more tico artistry from my friend David “Chino” Picado…un muchacho muy talentoso…

One morning I read a tragic story about a young woman in her 50’s who made the Costa Rica expat choice to start her life anew here.

However, instead, she ended her life.

I felt compelled to write something in response to this. Oh for sure, I could write a cliché-filled diatribe about how “Costa Rica is not for everyone.”

That you can’t escape yourself, nor your problems, here.

No shit!

However, the truth is that life can be viewed as either being filled with problems, or with potential…anywhere you might find yourself.

The answer never lies “out there,” but rather “in here.”

Okay, so much for avoiding clichés, but it is true, isn’t it?

If you are looking for answers to problems in a place, a relationship, a belief system, political viewpoint, drug, or by pointing a loaded gun at your head, what you will find is simply more problems.

This fabulously fleshy computer that God installed between our ears is quite adept at finding and magnifying problems…if that is where you choose to direct its processing power.

Have I been able to escape my problems in Costa Rica (and believe me I have and have had many)? The very notion of that question makes me chuckle to myself.

It all really comes down to a decision that we’re all empowered to make. Costa Rica provides a beautiful backdrop in which to make that decision. And it’s a place that can enrich that decision in many ways.

What “decision” am I talking about?

The decision to embrace life no matter what it throws at you.

To see the silver lining in every dark cloud.

To pass the countless tests of your integrity.

To love even when you feel unloved.

To sacrifice yourself even when you feel completely spent.

To be at peace when you’re alone with yourself and no one else desires to share their precious time with you.

To remain fond of yourself despite all the stupid and fucked-up shit you’ve done.

And to gaze upon the beauty that surrounds you, here in Costa Rica, or wherever you might find yourself, and know that there is a purpose to it all.

You wouldn’t be here in the first place if it weren’t meant for you to L-I-V-E your life in every sense of what that word means.

Anyone who has suffered in life, really suffered, has experienced the electrically impulsed image of ending it all slicing through the synapses. There is nothing weird, or even particularly alarming, about that. It’s quite natural.

After all, it’s a choice we always have, just like all the other choices the gift of free will grants us.

But it’s never ever the best choice.

Life beats it, hands down, every time.

So, instead…make the choice to L-I-V-E…

…Live to Love
…Live to Laugh
…Live to Learn
…Live to Leave a Legacy

That’s the proper Costa Rica expat choice that I hope this book encourages you to make.

Pura Vida!