Shuttle diplomacy is when negotiations are conducted by a mediator who facilitates communication between two parties, usually leaders of different countries, who are reluctant to hold direct discussions. And that reluctance is often as a result of a high degree of distrust that has developed between them.

Unfortunately, in this world we are currently living in, parties of different cultures and languages are often reluctant, or fearful, of holding direct discussions, or making any effort to understand one another whatsoever.

One of the greatest joys in my 16 years as an expat in Costa Rica has been sharing the experience with others. I rarely have a negative thing to say about Costa Rica. And when I do, it’s usually said in a humorous spirit. The things that have annoyed me, I usually try to shrug off with a smile and not take them, or my annoyance, too seriously.

That doesn’t mean that life in Costa Rica has always been just peachy for me. Oh for sure I’ve had more than my fair share of ups and downs here. But I don’t let the downs color my overall outlook about the place. The picture I always try to paint for others is one of wonder. Costa Rica is a wonderful place to live. There’s just no doubting that.

So, why spread a negative message? I mean if you don’t like the place, then the decision to move on is probably your best option. But if you do, then tell others about it! Exercise expat shuttle diplomacy by offering to be the bridge between their culture and this new and mysterious one that they’re surely to be a bit curious about. If they ask you if the natives are restless, tell them, hell yes…they party all night, every night, because they are just that damn happy!

The world will become a more unified place when diverse cultures have a better understanding of one another. It will happen when we all come to the Big US realization that we’re really all after the same basic things…a life of dignity, peace, health, love and happiness…right? The differences between cultures should not be a wedge that separates them, but a magnet that draws opposites together.

You can be that magnetic force. To do that you have to immerse. You have to know the culture that you have assimilated yourself in and know it well. That will take some effort on your part. Ticos bear no real responsibility to share their culture with you. They will, just because that’s the way they are. But if you want a richer and fuller experience of it, you have to ask them. You have to seek it out. You have to place yourself in awkward situations. Oh yes, you will experience some embarrassing moments, when you say or do the wrong thing. But those are learning opportunities and memories that will make you smile in the years to come.

And what you learn from that immersion experience you should share with those of your home culture. Let them know how these “others” live. It will be an eye opening experience for them, just as it was for you. When you invite them down, don’t shelter them from it (the foreign culture, that is). No, rather expose them to it, even if that has the potential of making them feel a bit uncomfortable, like you once were. It will be good for them, as it was for you. Of course, help them through it…a little. It’ll also be a great opportunity to get a few laughs at their expense…no real harm in that!

In the same light, when you make those trips back to your home country, remember to carry along tokens of your adopted country and culture. Don’t be afraid to say “pura vida” and then take advantage of the opportunity to explain what that means. Cook up some gallo pinto for the family back home. Tell them stories from the deep dark jungle. I wrote a series long ago called Tall-Tales of Costa Rica Guy, in which I share sometimes slightly embellished stories of my adventures in Costa Rica. Starting a blog is a great way to share your experiences.

Have fun with it!

The previous chapter was a warning on how not to represent your country of origin. This one on being an ambassador will be an encouragement of how to…

There are no greater ambassadors of actual impact on a host country than we expats. Many of us sort of stick out like sore thumbs. What we say and do, even how we express ourselves, is noticed and reflects, either positively or poorly, on not just us, but on everyone and thing from whence we came.

Official U.S. ambassadors are nominated by the president and confirmed by the senate. That alone places an important imprimatur upon their office. They serve as accredited diplomats who are sent by the U.S. as its official representative to a foreign country.

Now, we expats don’t have so high a duty…or, then again, perhaps we do, or, at least, should.

We are of course not sent, but voluntarily move to a foreign country for personal, not governmental, reasons. Nevertheless, we do represent, largely, the experience that citizens of your host country have regarding those of your home country…outside of what they might view on the television. And, believe me, the picture painted by the television isn’t always very pretty. For that superficial reason, you might experience some predetermined and preconceived notions about who and what you are from the moment you arrive in Costa Rica, or whatever country you choose to call home.

And if those notions are negative, it’s partly up to you to change them and create a different impression. In short, it’s up to you to use a bit of diplomacy, much in the manner of the official diplomat. The last thing the president wants to see is for his or her chosen diplomat to act in such a way as to harden negative feelings that citizens of a foreign land have regarding U.S. citizens, correct?

Now, diplomacy is the profession, activity, or skill of managing international relations, typically by a country’s representatives abroad. Like it or not, as an expat you are representing your country abroad. What locals see in you, they project to every other gringo. This connotes a responsibility on your part, don’t you think? A responsibility to represent you country well. To create the best impression possible of how citizens of the U.S. are viewed in other parts of the world.

The world, while evolving into a more connected place, is also, in many ways, becoming more and more disjointed. The lack of trust between nations and the peoples of those nations seems to be growing despite the phenomenon of globalization. In fact, this disjointed-ness might be growing because OF the phenomenon of globalization, or the backlash it is engendering.

The election of a Donald Trump and anti-globalization sentiment giving rise to national reactions, like the one we saw with Brexit, are serving to heighten tensions amongst nations and the peoples of those nations. Wars, motivated economically or religiously, and the refugees they produce, are also serving to heighten those tensions. The displacement that will occur as the result of global warming will only serve to increase this alarming trend.

But we can only do so if we exercise expat mindfulness. That is, if we are mindful of our important diplomatic role and exercise it wisely, empathetically and compassionately. We are in a unique position to exert this influence on the perceptions that foreigners have about “us.”

I believe one of the best ways to do this is to immerse yourself in the culture of your host country, while at the same time reflecting your own in the most positive manner possible. That’s not an easy task. It takes patience. It takes empathy. It takes humility. But in the end, you’ll be a better person for it, your local friends will have an increased level of respect and admiration for citizens of your country, and perhaps the world will become a little bit better because of your effort.

Please take this advice on being an ambassador seriously as you contemplate and visualize your new life as a Costa Rica expat.

The issue of impact (or purpose) does not evaporate the moment you depart your homeland for some strange land.

Granted, some poopoo on purpose altogether. They claim that there really is no purpose to life, other than to live it. And then still others will tell you the purpose to live this life is to improve one’s lot in the next one to come…the so-called “afterlife.”

I don’t want to get overly spiritual here, but then again, the concept of “impact mindfulness” does have spiritual implications. It is inextricably intertwined with the idea that we do indeed have a unique purpose. And that purpose is the impact we have one lifetime’s worth of opportunity to make on this world…not so much for our own good, but for the good of everyone and everything else.

Impact mindfulness is at its essence an altruistic mindset. There is this ideology that has taken hold throughout our world that eschews altruism. It’s the idea that one should place a priority on self-interest, especially economic self-interest. The idea that if we all do that, and if it can be done without government interference, then the pie gets bigger for everyone. That’s the essence of the neoliberal, Randian, ideology. In my opinion, it has made the world a far less hospitable place. It has unleashed the forces of absurd global wealth inequality in which 8 human beings now own more wealth than 50% of the entire world population. It has unleashed the forces of global warming, which threaten the next great extinction of life on earth.

The answer is to reject that idea by pursuing your highest and best purpose to make your positive impact on this troubled world! If enough humans do that, well, perhaps we can have hope for the future.

Now, you might be asking, what does that have to do with my interest in becoming a Costa Rica expat? It has to do with the unique opportunity you will have in making an impact as as expat.

I can only speak from my own experience. Living as an expat has opened my eyes and my heart to certain things that I was blind to before. I think it started by simply observing the phenomenon of nonmaterialistic happiness. I thought one had to aspire to the American Dream to be happy. That you had to “have money” or economic power to truly be happy. Well, here in this country I found folks with no money nor economic power who were happier than most in the U.S. who’ve got gobs of it. How could this be, I asked myself?

A few years after my arrival Al Gore’s documentary, An Inconvenient Truth, came out. At first I was too busy trying to make a buck by building a business in Costa Rica to really pay much attention. However, gradually it dawned upon me, and the documentary helped in that regard, that if we lose Costa Rica’s natural beauty, then the reasons people come in the first place would vanish and my business along with them. So, I started paying more attention to the natural beauty of Costa Rica and how this global warming thing posed a threat to it.

I also begin to notice, with the help of some Latino friends, that U.S. interventionist policies had for the most part tended to benefit the U.S., but at the great expense of other peoples and the planet. My politics gradually began to change as the result of having the opportunity to be an American on the outside looking in.

I started to blog about all these new revelations of thought that I was experiencing. In fact, I blogged 365 times about them in my first blog entitled, 365 Reasons I Love Costa Rica.

All this culminated in this mindset, or ideology, that I now call impact mindfulness. And I don’t think that I would’ve ever experienced this paradigm shift if it were not for my expat experience.

Now, have I done great things to change the world? No, I haven’t. My primary way of making an impact as an expat has been by writing and expressing my opinion. It’s what I do and what I’m most passionate about. I feel it’s my positive path to greatest impact. Yours, of course, will likely be entirely different, depending on your unique talents and interests.

But the point is that I strongly believe that the expat experience can be for you what it has been for me…a transformative one. If you keep that open mind that I suggested in an earlier chapter, it can and probably will remove impact blinders and open your eyes and heart to your unique purpose.

Many come here with that idea already firmly in mind. Others not so much initially, but gradually come to it. The bottom line is that if you actually go through with your expat plans, get ready to undergo some radical changes in how you view the world. And that can be a very good thing!

My hope is that making an impact as an expat, in your own unique way, will become the purpose that brings you joy and fulfillment and helps the world become a better place for all of us.

Below are some useful links to check out, if you’d like to learn more about impact mindfulness…

The Revolutionary Misfit Manifesto

The Impact Revolution

The Revolutionary Misfit Blog

If I get real reflective and try to nail down what gave rise to my Costa Rica “addiction”, I’d have to say, more than anything else, it’s adventure.

I’m a person who’s always been possessed with a strong sense of adventure and Costa Rica has delivered. One of my earliest Costa Rica adventures was a day-long ride on the back of a buey (Spanish for ox) through thick jungle to cross over into Nicaragua (in a place with no official border crossing). This little adventure was thoroughly blogged about in the post, If There’s a Will, There’s a Buey.

Seriously…

Listen, I don’t mean to be rude, but if you want a cushy and security-centered expat life, perhaps you should opt for the Mexican Riviera instead.

Costa Rica can be harsh. It’s rugged. It’s got bad roads, really bad ones that can loosen your teeth fillings. It’s a bit lawless, at least compared to the U.S, which is on the fast-track to becoming a police-state. We often speak of the streets of our U.S. big cities as being “jungles.” Well, in Costa Rica we’ve got real live jungles with critters that will bite and/or sting the crap out of you.

However, if you’re like me and imbued with an alluring sense of adventure, all of the above caveats sound enticing. I love being an adventurous spirit in Costa Rica. I love taking off into the jungle, either by foot, bike, or car, to parts unknown and discovering that hidden waterfall, or seeing some form of wildlife I’d only heretofore seen in books. That’s something you can easily do in Costa Rica without threat of any revolutionary guerilla interference. There’s no real “human” threat lurking out there in the jungle to kidnap or kill you. Granted there are some natural threats, but those are what make the whole process all the more adventurous.

Now wait, I’m NOT SAYING Costa Rica isn’t secure. It is. But a security-minded person will miss out on a lot. They will miss out on what truly makes Costa Rica such a special place.

Why?

Because security-minded people tend to conjure up reasons to be fearful where none actually exist. Haven’t you ever heard of the acronym FEAR = False Evidence that Appears Real? I’ve been in the Costa Rica vacation business down here for many years. I often get inundated with questions from certain customers who seem fearful about every aspect of traveling to a “3rd World” country. Right away I know that I’m dealing with a security-minded person. That’s a person I’m likely to have problems with as a customer. That’s a person who probably is not going to like the bad roads, the bugs, or the lack of bilingual communication.

I don’t mean to dissuade anyone from moving forward with their expat plans.

Well, maybe I do.

After all, I want to be the honest Costa Rica expat consultant.

So, in your particular case, perhaps it’s a good idea, in the course of making your plans, to also do a little self-evaluation. Are you adventurous? Or, are you more security-minded? If the latter, does it really make sense to move away from a place you feel secure in and into one in which you probably won’t feel secure, or not nearly as secure?

To repeat, I strongly believe that Costa Rica will mesh well with the adventurous-minded, but not so well with the security-minded.

If you are adventurous, or even if you aren’t presently, but would like to become, then by all means come on down!

Because this special little country offers never-ending thrills for anyone intent on being an adventurous spirit in Costa Rica.

Here’s a little video to announce some exciting things to come regarding Costa Rica expat living…stay tuned to the blog and Facebook page…

Pura Vida!

As I write these words this the morning of the 20th of January, 2017, Donald J. Trump is preparing to take the oath and assume office as the 45th president of the United States.

Needless to say that I need to obey my own advice on opening the mind.

It’s impossible to begin anything new without dragging the past along with us. The freshly-minted expat will arrive in Costa Rica bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, but harboring preconceived notions about how things are supposed to work. Notions that were shaped and formed over many years spent in a world very different from the one he or she is about to enter.

This will become apparent rather quickly. You’ll notice it in those little language barriers you face when trying to order food in a restaurant, or get help in a store or bank, or simply past pleasantries with your tico neighbor.

And language won’t be the only place you’ll notice the difference. You’ll notice it in the ticos’ general attitudes about life and the time it occupies. You’ll notice that they have this “c’est la vie” style of getting along with life that is foreign to the American-style of “get’er done.” You’ll notice that in Costa Rica things get done…when they get done…and not a minute sooner. You’ll notice that if you push against that mindset, your efforts will be met with resistance at best and passive aggressiveness at worst.

Now, granted, all this will be irritating, it will get under your skin like a stubborn rash. If you itch it, the irritation will worsen.

So, what do you do? Well, you just don’t, that’s what.

First, open the mind to the fact that this is newly chartered territory for you. Try to remember back when you embraced new experiences, if you can. There was a time in all of our lives when the experience of something new, even though uncomfortable, was exhilarating and exciting. Splashing in a mud puddle was big fun back then, wasn’t it? That’s the attitude you have to dig deep in the recesses of those memory banks to find and resurrect as you face this new life as a Costa Rica expat.

All this will be uncomfortable at times. But it can certainly be a whole lot of fun too. That is, if and only if you keep an open mind.

In all seriousness, an open mind is a positive human trait in just about any circumstance of life. And that’s especially true with regard to one as momentous as pulling up roots and planting them in some foreign land.

Right now I am trying to keep an open mind about the presidency of Donald Trump. It’s damn hard I will readily admit. But closing the mind to all positive possibilities won’t serve me, now will it? By the same token, closing your mind to the “tico way” as just not being up to your American snuff won’t serve you either.

Oh and I must tell you that you are apt to encounter “closed minds” when it comes to certain tico attitudes about us gringos. Attitudes that paint us all as arrogant, materialistic and universally rich. Yes it does cut both ways. But remember, you are in their country and you can only control your attitude. If you ever feel a bit slighted as the victim of Latin American prejudice against gringos, rejoice in the experience. Now you know what it feels like for others. You’ve just had an empathy growth moment!

Bottom line is that you want to make the best of this new experience…correct? You want to be one of those expats who finds joy and happiness, rather than misery and defeat…correct? You certainly don’t want to be one of those who sits in a dark and grungy gringo bar for hours every gorgeous day complaining about the ticos, or, worse, one of those who heads back to the States with his or her tail tucked between the legs…right?

Well then, take my advice on keeping and open mind and just do it!

You might be thinking, do expats get homesick?

Of course we do!

After all there is no place like home. Home is where the heart is. It’s where the memories of a lifetime reside. We expats carry those memories with us to our new home. We carry them stored in our memory banks, but also in tangible items, like photos and videos, as well as the family and life-long friendships we leave behind.

Being an expat doesn’t mean one has to burn the ship, in the fashion of a Hernán Cortés. As if that’s the only way to successfully invade and conquer our new homeland. We can and should maintain ties to our motherland.

For some, that feeling of being homesick can grow overwhelming. That’s usually the result of maintaining too much “linkage” with what you left behind. After all, you are now living in a far different place, in terms of just about every experience of life…from the language you read, hear and try to speak, to the products you see on the supermarket shelves and the programs that appear on your television set in the evening.

In short, you ain’t in Kansas anymore.

That’s part of the challenge and adventure of being an expat. That is, having to learn to function, to make yourself feel at home, in a place that looks and feels far different from your actual home. Granted, it can be a daunting challenge, but with an open mind and a good dose of patience and good humor, you can do it.

I maintain close ties with my home country primarily by being a bit of a political junkie. Costa Rican politics is quite boring. But U.S. politics is and will always remain fascinating for me. I try to retain some sense of an influence with my peers in this realm, via expressing my opinions in blog posts and social media. I get a kick out of it, but it also makes me feel as if I am somehow making an impact by contributing to the discussion.

Other expats maintain close ties via sports, following their favorite teams and struggling to create the same level of excitement as was felt back home about the “big games.” It’s a little harder to do that down here, but with a little effort, you can be an avid “athletic supporter” of U.S. sports in Costa Rica. You’ll get along and make friends with the locals a lot better if you also embrace their sport, soccer, or fútbol, but that’s your choice.

Now there are some expats, too many actually, who try to convert Costa Rica, at least all the parts of it that annoy them, into an “American pie-like” experience. They are usually frustrated and often fail in that effort, or spend far too much money in the attempt. And I believe going this route detracts from the joys one should experience as an expat. The joy of adapting to a new and strange place, rather than trying to force that place to adapt to you!

There’s a little give and take involved in settling in and feel at home in a country like Costa Rica, as I’m sure there is with any other foreign country for that matter. Remember, you are the alien. You are the one with the strange habits and customs. You are the invader. However, you’ll never be a “conquerer”, so best not even try.

As the old saying goes, when in Rome, do as the Romans. Same goes when in Costa Rica…try, as best you can, to do as the ticos. After all, they consistently rate as some of the happiest souls on the planet. So, the effort might really pay off for you!

But at the same time, it’s good to remember that there is no place like home, the one location on earth that best defines who you really are.

Hey, my new book The Definitive Guide to Costa Rica Expat Living is live on Amazon. If you’re thinking about making an escape from the rat-race, whether for political or mental and physical health reasons, or all of the above, The Definitive Guide to Costa Rica Expat Living was written just for you!

Get the Book!